Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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