Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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