So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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