So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
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The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
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People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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