Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
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its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
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I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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