is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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