If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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