first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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