im gay
i know
yea but for you.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
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It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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