I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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