I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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