You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
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The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
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Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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