if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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