It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
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Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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