I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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