he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
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