I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize