If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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