i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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