Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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