So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
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Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
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Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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