I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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