she takes plan B like it's going out of style
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize