He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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