We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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