Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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