Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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