I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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