the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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