If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize