Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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