Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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