there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
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Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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