margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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