New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize