even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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