Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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