I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
People in love make me want to vomit
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
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plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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