I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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