If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize