mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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