You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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