Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize