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Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
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