Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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