oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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