HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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