either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize