You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize