Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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